Every Season of You

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Being a mom has been the hardest adjustment of my life. But, as you near your third month of life, it floors me how attached to you I am. I feel like I've known you my entire life.

When you smile at me, I remember that you probably know me better than anyone in the world... I literally kept you safe and allowed you to grow for ten months before I brought you into the world. My biggest and best accomplishment.

Someday you will open the lids of jars that I can't get to budge. You will wrap me in a bear hug when I'm frustrated with you, and I won't be able to get out. You will shush me when I try to talk over "the game" (or if you're like your dad, when the song you love is on the radio). Someday I will be able to wear your favorite sweatshirt when I'm cold. I'm anticipating and dreading these days all at once. Time, please slow down.

But right now, I cherish us as we are. I rock you and hug you and wrap you in blankets and hold you up as you attempt to balance on your brand new legs. I feed you the only nourishment that you can receive, and I make sure you get the rest you need. I talk in stupid voices to get you to smile, I change your diaper 355 times a day, I chew off your little fingernails when you let me, so you don't scratch your face when you sleep.

You are the best and worst of me, and the best and worst of the man I love more than life itself. When a baby is born from a love like ours, it's the physical proof that love can only grow more intense. We can always love more, love better, love deeper.

I thank God that He gave me you to care for and raise up to be a strong and confident man, and that in turn - you got me as your crazy, emotional, passive-aggressive, loyal, loving and stubborn mother. I will always love and care for you, but more than anything, I want you to always know how much I appreciate you.

Every stage of you. Every season of you.

Motherhood is amazing. Having a little boy to love, and a relationship like ours to nurture and develop, is the icing on the best, most incredible cake.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful Ode to motherhood! What an amazing journey!