Five Things I Never Want To Forget [New Mommy Edition]

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Screen Shot 2013-04-15 at 10.51.42 PM1. I never want to forget the immense feeling of relief - in my heart, mind, and body - when you entered this world. That moment, that feeling, that overwhelmingly joyful relief... is absolutely like no other feeling I could ever describe. I could live that very moment over and over and over and over again. It was a spiritual relief ("Oh my good Lord above, you never left my side"), it was a physical relief ("The pain is GONE... the pain is completely gone. WHAT?"), it was an emotional relief ("He's finally here. He's really real. He's really real."), it was a mental relief ("It's over. It's really and truly over. I did it. I birthed a child.") all wrapped up into one split second in time. Intense, I tell you. So insanely, incredibly, awesomely (and all the other adjectives ending in "ly") beautiful and intense.

2. I never want to forget how your face looks right now, as I pick you up from your crib. You've looked the same for about 14 weeks: sleepy confusion, tired eyes, furrowed brow, pouty lip, and a hearty little whimper as your eyes adjust to me, to the light of the nursery... followed quickly by the realization that food is on it's way. My hands are holding you under each arm, and this shoves your shoulders up and into your cheeks... squishing up all that cuteness and confusion. I love getting you when you wake up: it's my favorite part(s) of the day.

3. I never want to forget your new smile. The one that you're so unsure of; you can't quite smile equally on both sides yet, so you do a precious little lopsided grin that is just perfect. I can see the faint indentation of what looks to be a tiny dimple in your right cheek. I can't wait.

4. I never want to forget the appreciation of one evening away. When we can find a moment to slip out of the house, just your dad and I, to grab a quick dinner or happy hour... I feel like I've won the lottery. Sometimes it's 10pm and you're fast asleep, but knowing we have family willing to usher us out of the house and let us have an hour to ourselves means so much. They know the value of one-on-one time. They know how much your dad and I thrive on this quality time. I know it won't be like this forever, but these moments helped us to survive the "newborn phase".

5. I never want to forget your singing. It started with "Ooh"s, and now we've graduated into harmonizing with me during diaper changes, when you hear pretty songs on the my phone, and especially when Kari Jobe comes through the speakers. Extended "oooooooh"s, drawn out "ahhhhh"s... you look like you're concentrating so hard, your eyes locked on my mouth, watching and predicting then I will make what sound. You're such a smart little boy.

3 comments:

  1. SO good - I was almost CRYING reading through this remembering what the first weeks of having Zane was like! I remember the SHEER relief of the moment she as born - I say you have never know what true relief is until that very moment!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aw...so sweet Cee!!! I love that you are blogging this! You'll definitely want to remember it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love that I get to see first hand your relationship with little Porter man! You are an amazing mom!

    ReplyDelete