Simon's MRI

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

It's a somber pic, but it's been an overwhelming journey that is finally coming to an end. Simon's MRI was completely normal, and the specific and extensive lab work we did to rule out the ugly C-word came back clear, too. Simon is completely healthy. I cried happy tears with the nurse, and she said what I've been praying to hear: "there's nothing going on with Simon. Let's follow-up in a month and decide if it's worth doing more tests, or let's just let him grow up a bit more and see if the eye movement corrects itself."

I agreed, and thought to myself what incredible healing has already happened in his tiny (chunky) body. His eyes don't move nearly as much as they did two months ago, when our pediatrician told us to take him in for an MRI if the opthamologist agreed that something was going on neurologically. So many tests, so many sleepless nights, so many tears, so much Googling (I can't help it), and so many desperate and specific prayers that somehow got stronger and more resolute with each passing day.

We're finally done. You don't realize how much you are going to cherish the "trials" of every day until you're faced with something much bigger and scarier in your airspace. Suddenly, I couldn't believe I had spent so much time frustrated that Porter wouldn't let me finish a report for work, or that I got mastitis, or that Simon spit up on his fifth outfit of the day. My coffee is cold, my house is a mess, I haven't washed my hair in days, my friend is mad at me...

It doesn't matter.

I stared at my baby and begged God for healing, and in those moments He revealed to me just how much I needed to let the little things go. Move on from things that felt so important. Spend time with Me, He told me. Again and again and again.

It's not like I'm miraculously a better Christian from this trial, but He is on my heart every single hour of every single day. I am so aware of how much He cares for His children, and how He reveals Himself when you come to Him how you are. Broken, hopeless, anxious, pessimistic. He carried me through the times I was sure I was failing miserably as a mom, wife, and believer.

Now, we're all moving on. God is faithful. He is so, so good. He did so much work in my own heart during this process that I hope to somehow put it into words or to help someone else when their time comes... but for now, we celebrate in the daily miracle that is OUR HEALTH.

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