Porter Alan

We found out we were pregnant on April 25th, 2012. We saw the heartbeat for the first time on May 17th, 2012.

Most of you that know me pretty well know about my irrational fear of childbirth. Well, God knew that if he left it up to me (trying for a baby), I would procrastinate - just like I do with every other decision in my life. It's torture to tell me that you need me to decide where we're having dinner, let alone when I am going to pursue motherhood. Panic. Attack.

I had a feeling something was different about two weeks into April. Women that say you just know, aren't lying. Something was different. I shook it off, like I do all the times I convince myself I probably have some horrible disease (I don't, but my overactive imagination tends to think I exhibit all the symptoms - and WebMD always confirms my suspicions! ) but one night when we were grocery shopping, I told Paul I just wanted to get a pregnancy test to be safe.

Paul started dinner, and I took the big test. The words "Pregnant" across the little screen was probably the most pivotal moment of my life thus far. I can't describe how I felt, and to tell you I was elated and over-the-moon would be a complete lie. I was scared. Terrified. Panicking. It was one of those "I know God will never give me something I cannot handle, but WHY DOES HE TRUST ME SO MUCH!!" moments.

I've calmed down. I've prayed. I've talked about it with my family and friends, and I know we're ready to be parents. I know I've been blessed with the most important gift in the world, and I'm excited and honored that He trusted me more than I trusted myself. :)

Porter Alan Burton 8lbs 1oz – 21.5"
Born at: St Joseph's Hospital
Attending Midwife: Donna Payne-Snyder
@ 9:30am on December 20th, 2012
(after a long and exhausting induction)

No comments:

Post a Comment